Guaranteed Number 1 Rankings in a WEEK – An Infospamic

Guaranteed SEO infospamic

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SEO Spam Emails – The Bane of the Internet

It never ceases to amaze us just how much spam both our clients and we get from people touting themselves as SEOs, offering a guaranteed number 1 in a ridiculous timeframe and offering an insight into their ‘advanced methods.’ These frequently include ‘cutting edge’ tactics such as optimising keyword density and submitting en masse to thousands and thousands of free directories.

However, rather than get irritated by an overcrowded inbox, we’ve been inspired to create our own ad for a fictional ‘number 1 in a week off the back of meta keywords’ type of agency. And this is the result!

This Type of SEO Doesn’t Work

Now that’s stating the obvious for anyone who actually works in SEO! But for those who have little or no knowledge of the industry, someone offering a ‘guaranteed’ service at a really low price could seem appealing and a potentially ‘nothing to lose’ type of offer.

But in reality, services that do nothing other than stuff your website’s content full of keywords and make nonsense of your text can do more harm than good. And an overly spammy link profile made up of nothing more than thousands of poor quality inbound exact match anchor text links from crap directories and nonsense blog comments really can be detrimental to your domain. Trying to undo that stuff is no walk in the park either!

So if you do ever encounter something like the above passing itself off a genuine offer, do be wary. If it looks too good to be true…

Posted on by in Search

About Stacey Cavanagh

I'm the Head of Search at Tecmark and a lover of all things Internet and Apple. I'm a chronic #hashtagger, social media-er, compulsive blogger and a self confessed lover of inexcusably terrible jokes.

  • http://RxSEO.net/ Gregory Smith

    BRILLIANT…I write a lot about “Content Marketing” on my own SEO Blog, and I’m here to say, you have “hit thy nail upon thy top of its head”…

    I too receive a TON of emails from “mostly India”, and a small % of others, begging us to outsource out SEO. 
    To be blunt, I’m friggun sick of seeing those emails, and I can guarantee you I’m not the only one either.
    This is a great info-graphic. You might of just coined the term “info-soamic”.

    great post girl!

    gregory smith

  • http://gyitsakalakis.com/ Gyi Tsakalakis

    Entertaining, sad and useful. Certainly linkworthy.

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      Thanks Gyi and I’m glad you enjoyed it enough to share with your readers!

  • http://recalibrate.co/ Ryan McLaughlin

    It’s definitely a premium service when they offer 99% keyword density. That’s talent.

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      It certainly is talent | talented | talents ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/iamriplash Neil Hart (riplash)

    Genuine LOL, this is right on the money! As an in-house SEO, I get forwarded every stinking vendor/spam email the company receives, no matter whose inbox it lands in. Sometimes I like to humour them and ask them more about their amazing link building techniques..

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      Haha! I see a parody spam baiting trend emerging here!

      If any of them do send you anything truly ‘revolutionary’ (like adding ‘Matt Cutts’ to your meta keywords for instant number 1 rankings for all keywords) you’ll have to let us know!!

      • http://twitter.com/iamriplash Neil Hart (riplash)

        Could definitely see the spambait linkbait concept working hehe.. Perhaps what the SEO community needs is it’s very own version of the legendary 419eater.

        • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

          You read my mind.

          419eater is one of the best things that ever happened to the Internet!

  • http://www.tvspiegel.com/ Wandspiegel

    Haha glad you noticed the little things, Stacey! Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/shez555 shez

    Fabulous work Stacey indeed very creative. lol could you send me expert keyword stuffer email :D

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      Thanks, Shez :)

  • http://twitter.com/MrJonPayne Jon Payne

    Well done Stacey and Tecmark! You absolutely nailed it :)

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      Thank you, Jon! Glad you enjoyed it!

      • http://twitter.com/MrJonPayne Jon Payne

        I can hear the laughter around the office as this is hits each desk, so thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/fims01 Tom – FIMS

    Very entertaining :-)
     
    T Andrews

  • http://www.fuzzone.com/ Kunle Campbell – Fuzz One

    Goes on to say that: if it’s too good to be true…then it probably is!
    Nicely put together and presented
    +1 Stacey

    • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

      Thanks, Kunle! Much appreciated!

  • http://optimizehere.co/ Matt Morgan

    That was the coolest infographic I’ve seen in a long time. I often tell my friends, family, prospects and clients to simply use Google. If the “SEO” company doesn’t rank on the first page for their key phrases, why would they be able to do any better with yours.

  • http://techforwards.com/ Gautam

    really nice i liked it.

  • http://twitter.com/mmhemani Moosa Hemani

    Very Interesting Stacey! The title of the post itself is
    very catchy…Like I know tecmark cuz of you and you have a ethical name in the
    SEO arena so this whole title simply make my eyes wide open until I go down the
    image and read some text!

    love the name InfoSpamic

  • http://www.twitter.com/staceycav Stacey Cavanagh

    Thank you, Gregory :) Really glad you enjoyed this!